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12.21.2007: conversations with smoot
12.12.2007: awesome mix tape podcast
11.17.2007: am i the anti-charm?
11.08.2007: four letter words
10.04.2007: presidential fun facts
09.21.2007: a fistful of breakfast
09.07.2007: 2007 viking of the year
09.06.2007: 2007 nfl predictions
07.17.2007: i hate espn
07.16.2007: spider-man & i
07.15.2007: fantastic four 2
07.08.2007: transformers
07.07.2007: spider-man & i
07.06.2007: spider-man & i
03.02.2007: conversations with smoot
01.25.2007: 2007 dead pool
11.21.2006: good samaritan
11.10.2006: paul is dead
11.02.2006: worm 11 political ad
10.25.2006: where's my mix tape
09.22.2006: fictional trivia about snl
09.15.2006: heinous used for good
09.13.2006: breaking up with charlize
09.13.2006: battlefield earth
09.05.2006: willie offord tree
09.05.2006: 2006 viking of the year
09.03.2006: foodtopia
08.04.2006: cat borne parasite
08.01.2006: short bus
07.21.2006: greatest game never played
07.11.2006: ode to west virginia
07.07.2006: football movies
06.29.2006: flavor country
03.10.2006: fistful of fortune cookies
03.01.2006: occupancy fee
02.14.2006: f valentine's day?
02.02.2006: integrity?
01.20.2006: embracing your inner g
01.06.2006: 2006 dead pool
11.04.2005: what if jay-z
10.27.2005: 10 punches, 1 drink
09.15.2005: viking lucky charms contest
09.09.2005: 2005 viking of the year
08.14.2005: swirling
08.14.2005: birthday card
08.14.2005: last stand of an american
02.14.2005: st. valentine adventures
07.30.2004: 2004 viking of the year
07.09.2004: for molly
07.09.2004: mr c
07.09.2004: the asshole
07.09.2004: the couch
07.09.2004: vincenti
07.09.2004: the phone talks to me
07.09.2004: warm apple pie
07.09.2004: i used to be vanilla ice
10.21.2003: 2003 viking of the year
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Four Problems With the New CBS Show "Love Monkey" by worm 4

(I was drifting in and out of sleep, so some of the specifics may be inaccurate, but bare with me.)

1) The manner in which the main character (was his name Tom?) loses his job is completely unrealistic. He shows up late to a meeting, but just in time to hear his boss complain about the company losing money and give his vision for success, pointing out that he will fire people if necessary. Tom then stands up unsolicited and, in a non-chalant way, outlines his own vision that is the complete opposite of what his boss just said. And he's too stupid to realize that he is contradicting his boss, thereby resulting his Jerry McGuire-like termination. No one able to work a full-time job and live in NYC is stupid enough to live this scenario.

2) Jason Priestly plays a friend of the main character who is also married to his sister. So which came first? Were they already friends and then Tom's friend starts dating his sister? - which should never happen. Or did this guy marry into the group and then start hanging out with his brother-in-law so that he could swap guy stories about what he does to Tom's sister... which all guys do... right? Neither scenario works for me.

3) So the main character is a music exec who's job is to discover and sign new bands. He shows up at a show, falls for the lead singer (a female), and then dates her for what we can assume is at least several months, and not once until they break up does the girlfriend/singer ask his opinion about her band. Totally unbelievable. I've got to imagine that if you're in an unsigned band, you can't get within 20 feet of a music exec without constantly talking about new songs or lyrics or asking about getting signed. No way she's sleeping with this guy that long and not pressuring him for a contract. And there's no way he's dating her that long and not wondering if she has ulterior motives.

4) When trying to make the show seem hip by throwing out pop culture references, you've got to make them accurate. It's ok to call Ashley Simpson a no-talent lip-syncher, but it's not ok to make that point and then group her with Hanson. Those guys wrote their own songs and played their own instruments. Their only crime was having bad taste. Completely different league than Ashley Simpson. And I admit it - I'm a Hanson apologist. The first release from their second album - This Time Around - could have just as easily been put into a Black Crowes album and no one would have know the difference. But because it was Hanson and the 12 year-old girl fan base didn't jive with southern rock, it was a flop. This world makes no sense to me.