There's bored, and then there's stuck at work on a Friday afternoon in a short week in July after the NBA draft and before NFL training camp bored. So to make the time go faster, and to get myself ready for the upcoming season, I've decided to post the poll that, once and for all, will determine the best football movie ever made.

For some reason, film makers have had a hard time making the quintessential football movie. There must be something about the game that doesn't transfer to film like baseball, basketball, golf, or even hockey, all of which have easily identifiable ultimate movies (Major League, Hoosiers, Caddyshack, and The Mighty Ducks II respectively).

So, here are the nominees:

Paper Lion (1968): Not a bad movie for the time. I think the Silverdome had just been built, so the scenes of primitive indoor football are impressively depressing. Alan Alda is about as believable as an NFL QB as... well, George Plimpton, but I guess that's the point. But without George's one-of-a-kind accent, Alda falls flat.

Brian's Song (1971): Never actually saw it (or the recent remake), but it was apparently about the love affair between Gayle Sayers and Brian Piccalo, the first two openly homosexual players in the NFL and their struggles while playing for the Bears. What's that? Really? Well, let's move on.

The Longest Yard (1974): I haven't seen this one in a long time, but the remake probably ruined it for me. Plus it features Eddie Albert, my mortal enemy. So there's that.

North Dallas Forty (1979): Whenever an argument rages about someone who played in the NFL in the 50's/60's/70's being better than anyone playing today (with the exception of Jim Brown), I like to think of Nick Nolte without a shirt and realize that that is what actual NFL players used to look like. Plus there's a lot of drugs and needles. But hey, it was the 70's.

Wildcats (1986): Ummmm... I remember sneaking into the theater when this first came out and, after a few minutes, realizing that I was wasting my time. Most notable for the first on-screen appearance of the Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson juggernaut.

Necessary Roughness (1991): Now we're getting somewhere. Two things: first, "I thought it was gonna be one of these." - second best quotable sports movie line ever. Second, this was the only post-Teen Wolf 2, pre-Arrested Development on-screen appearance of Jason Bateman. I'm hoping that he had some other scenes that were left on the editing room floor, or else that would really be sad.

The Program (1993): Do you think Omar Epps knew they were making a movie? On the other hand, you've got a brunette Kristy Swanson and a scene where a guy tries to pump uncontaminated urine into his bladder. Nuff said.

Little Giants (1994): Come on, who didn't love Rick Moranis back in the day? Unfortunately, that day ended in 1989. This movie was also known as The Mighty Ducks Play Football, which is not to be confused with TMD Play Soccer (The Big Green), TMD Play Baseball (The Sandlot) or TMD Play Basketball (ummm... The Air Up There).

Any Given Sunday (1999): Jamie Foxx was completely unbelievable as a pro QB, which makes it even funnier that Puff Daddy was originally cast in this role but fired because he couldn't throw more than 10 yards. And Pacino was even worse. And the team names and jerseys were completely unbelievable. And the movie just dragged on and on. But there was Elizabeth Berkely, so some consideration is deserved.

Varsity Blues (1999): In my opinion, this is the best football movie ever made. You've got the back-up/starter thing, the fame-going-to-head thing, the black/white thing, the injury thing, the whipped-cream-bikini thing, the overbearing coach thing, the small town/dreams of city living thing, the sex-ed/Hot for Teacher thing. In short, this was the perfect movie. Completely rewatchable. My only complaint is the scene in the beginning where the back-up QB sneaks a copy of Slaughterhouse-5 into his playbook. That's just a little too much.

Remember the Titans (2000): Sorry. It's Disney.

The Replacements (2000): Has Orlando Jones ever made a bad movie? Seriously. If so, I haven't seen it.

Friday Night Lights (2004): They totally missed the boat on this one. Had it been made in 1998 (before Varsity Blues came out) it would have been a hit. But you can't release a serious movie after the much more entertaining parody of that movie has already come and gone. Why do you think there hasn't been a good airport disaster movie since Airplane! was released?

Whatever. You have my vote. Prove me wrong. (Did I mention that I'm bored?)