There's a radio commercial that I hear every day for OnStar that really bothers me. In the commercial, what is supposed to be an "actual recording" is played in which a woman uses her car's OnStar system to notify an OnStar operator that she has just witnessed a car accident that resulted in injuries. The OnStar operator then calls the police and informs them that she has a "good Samaritan" on the line reporting the accident. My question is, why does the operator assume that this woman is a Samaritan?

The biblical story of The Good Samaritan is a parable used to teach people that you can't judge someone based on where they come from or what they look like or how much money they have (a pretty relevant lesson, actually). As we all know, the Samaritans (people from Samaria - the modern equivalent of which is a cross between Alabama and Afghanistan) were the dregs of late BC/early AD Middle Eastern society; the kind of people who, if they were around today, would be regular guests of Jerry Springer and would piss on your dog if you gave them the chance. So, as the story goes, when a wealthy man finds himself on the wrong side of the proverbial tracks (camel tracks?) and gets mugged and left for dead, it is the lowly Samaritan who helps him out while others from the man's class gladly ignore his pleas for help.

So why is it that, whenever someone does something good for someone else, someone they probably don't know, they are automatically assumed to be a Samaritan, the scum of the Earth? Can't anonymous good deeds be performed by someone who doesn't reek of fish and behave inappropriately in social settings? (Other than Oprah, that is.) Apparently we've all forgotten the real message of this story. I guess that's why I never do good things for other people.