I read today that Destiny’s Child will be performing at half-time for the NBA All-Star Game in Houston this year. Supposedly, they had broken up a few months back with a farewell performance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, their “final” performance together. Though they’d never admit it, only one thing could really bring them back together. A shitload of money.

But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe they’ve spent their entire lives dreaming of that day when they got to play the half-time show at the NBA All-Star Game. Perhaps that one spot is the pinnacle of their musical careers, and never having achieved it, they broke up, desolate and downtrodden, only to discover some months later that their hopes and dreams were to come true.

Or perhaps they need the added fame that playing the half-time show at the NBA All-Star Game will bring them. After all, not that many people have heard of Destiny’s Child, and a lot of artists are discovered at the NBA All-Star half-time show.

Then again, maybe I’m just jealous that no one’s giving me a shitload of money to lip sync to some over-produced crap while shaking my ass. Because I’m willing, and I’m probably a lot cheaper than Destiny’s Child.

You have to wonder how Jimmy Kimmel feels about all of this? Let’s ask him...

Me: Hey, Jimmy Kimmel.

Jimmy Kimmel: Hey random stranger.

Me: So, how do you feel about Destiny’s Child upstaging your show in less than a year by playing the NBA All-Star half-time show? Let me say that again, THE NBA ALL-STAR HALF-TIME SHOW.

Jimmy Kimmel: Well, I’m kind of...

[I punch him in the stomach]

Me: THAT’S FOR PRODUCING THE ANDY MILONAKIS SHOW, YOU ASSHOLE!

Jimmy Kimmel: (cough) (cough)...

Me: Fuckwit.

See? He seems pretty upset about all of it.