worst advice ever... (October, 2005)

so i'm sitting at home last week and the phone rings. it's fred smoot. "yo, jay, it's smoot," he says. "hey freddie, how's it going?" i say. he tells me about how he's planning a morale building cruise for the vikings, saying that there's gonna be two boats and plenty of booze and the rolling of bones... to bring the guys closer together, he says. "i don't know" i tell fred. "sounds like it's gonna be a sausage fest. maybe you should think about bringing some ladies... you know, for atmosphere." "awww, yeah" he says, "i hear that. you da man. smoot out." probably shouldn't have stuck my nose in that. on the bright side, the ebay value of my "lucky charm" vikings jersey (#1, which suddenly takes on an ironic significance) and my smoot autographed ball has risen considerably. i was offered $5 dollars for the ball just last night.